Big Brother 8: First Impressions

I wasn’t going to watch Big Brother this year. I managed to avoid Celebrity Hijack without any particular effort but Big Brother 9 has sucked me in again. So far, it looks a lot better than BB8 – but only my 6th or 7th favourite series.

So here’s my belated first impressions.

Alexandra – a bit of an opinionated bitch. Maybe she’s just trying to make a strong impression but she seems too forceful. She uses a lot of words without having anything much to say. She sounds like she’s got a sore throat but she’s still talking over people without any trouble.

Dale – he’s hot and I wish I was living with him but where’s his personality?

Darnell – I hope it’s not rude to say this but I don’t think he’d have got in the house if he wasn’t albino. He does seem very nice though, and it’s a good sign he can make being albino sound so interesting when he’s probably talked about a million times before.

Dennis – great dancer, not a great talker. Some people say he’s a bitch, but I don’t think I’ve heard him talk yet.

Jennifer – she’s hot and I wish I was living with her but where’s her personality?

Kathreya – mad in a good way. Very relaxed and kind but she could become annoying in time – although very few people can be annoying when carrying cookies. Not that I’ve noticed the cookies so far but maybe I was too busy looking at Rachel.

Lisa – sexy and funny. She’s much too good for Mario. She’s really dealing with the task well – a lot of women would be seriously bothered if their boyfriend was pretending to be dating a hot blonde 19 year old. BB’s probably disappointed in her reaction but I love her.

Luke – very, very sexy and I definitely wish I lived with him. He’s very cute and intelligent, a bit like Glyn from BB7. I want to pick him up and give him a cuddle, but he’s probably bigger than me. He’s all sweetly worried about the task which is very attractive.

Mario – he seems like a creepy twat, but maybe that’s because he’s a very middle-aged guy feeling up a teenager. It’s not his fault he’s doing that – he has to go along with the task – but he’s not that convincing really because he’s acting like he hates her. He’s doing well at pretending he doesn’t know Lisa though.

Mikey – I’m absolutely certain the words ‘I love Mikey’ never passed my lips during BB7. But I could be saying it a lot in BB9. He seems a very sweet character – it would annoy me if they put a blind person in the house just for the sake of it and he wasn’t interesting or entertaining but Mikey’s lovely. Vulnerable in some ways but he can speak his mind. I admire him a lot.

Mohamed – I’m sure I met him at auditions. If so, he’s a really nice guy. If not, he’s probably still nice, but it would be nice if he spoke more. I love his hair! He’s very handsome and I wouldn’t mind living with him either.

Rachel – Hot hot hot! So Imogen won Miss Wales, Rachel was runner-up… can we have a whole house of Miss Waleses next time? Actually Rachel doesn’t have anything very interesting to say and it’s stupid to put people in the house just because they won or nearly won Miss Wales but maybe BB's just pretending she doesn’t have a personality like they did with Imogen.

Rebecca – Another mad one! Maybe she's a little bit desperate, but maybe she really is up for anything. Nice boobs! Not much personality other than that so far, but she is genuinely – and I think intentionally – funny. Maybe she’s trying a bit too hard to be mad but I think she’s enjoying herself.

Rex – A man who can cook! I love him just for that, but I have no idea what he’s like apart from that.

Stephanie – I would say she’s hot, but she’s so immature, I just can’t bring myself to fancy her. She’s been given a horrible task in a really unfair way, so I can’t really blame her for being bitchy and whiny. But she is still bitchy and whiny.

Sylvia – She hasn’t made any impression either, but it’s not a good sign she’s so close to Alexandra. It’s not much fun being the bitch’s best friend.